Back to Blog

How to Love Yourself Again: Get Confidence Back in Your Life

Jun 01, 2021

Loving yourself can be hard in a society where images of beauty and perfection constantly surround us.

When you don't love yourself, it can cause a lot of pain and self-doubt, leading to depression or anxiety.

There are several different ways to love yourself now to feel confident being the person you are born to be!

A lack of self-esteem is holding you back in life.

Have you ever had the thought, "I am meant for so much more than this?"

Let me start off by saying: You aren't alone!

This is a common thought for many people.

Did you know that your lack of self-love could be the root cause of unhappiness? Unfortunately, it's tough to rid yourself of those feelings without accepting who YOU are as an individual.

But there are steps which you can take to help you start to love yourself more!

How do you learn to love yourself again?

Many of us, at some point in our lives, struggle to love ourselves.

Loving ourselves is hard because we live in a society that shapes self-love as unattainable and unnecessary. 

This can lead us down a spiral of negative thought patterns that can be difficult to break free from.

But you can learn to love yourself again after these destructive thoughts have settled themselves deep into your heart.

Start talking yourself up.

I know it sounds silly, and the last thing you want to think about when your self-love levels feel so low.

However, this will boost confidence to help push out any negative thoughts while also opening up other opportunities for positive thought patterns. 

Date yourself

Ask yourself out on a date. You can go to the movies, eat a fancy dinner or spend an afternoon at your favorite coffee shop. This will give you time alone with yourself and hopefully make you realize how much good company you have even when nobody else is around.

This might be difficult for you at first and is something that you will have to practice.

When you spend time yourself, you might find that negative thoughts and insecurities will take over, creating a negative thought loop.

Don't let this scare you away.

Embrace the thoughts and speak love and forgiveness over them and start to feel them drift away!

Find a therapist or counselor to work through past trauma.

It can be challenging for people to go back and revisit things from their past.

It is often a very sensitive and painful process.

However, this is crucial for re-connecting with oneself and experiencing self-love.

If this is the case for you, finding a therapist or counselor who will work with you to process your past can be helpful.

This way, they can help provide a professional listening ear and help guide you through those difficult memories and feelings.

How do I rebuild my relationship with myself?

Sometimes things impact you suddenly (trauma), and other times things eat away at you through time.

Regardless of the cause, it can be challenging for a person to fully feel self-love and acceptance from themselves as life's burdens get in the way.

If this is your struggle, try these exercises:

  • Write in an honest gratitude journal about how you're feeling on any given day. This will help process emotions that are building up inside of you and start healing.
  • Find something that you're proud of, a thing that makes you feel good about who you are. Try to do this every day and remember why it is crucial for your feelings of self-worth.
  • If there's a source in your life (or an event) that has been painful or stressful, try writing down the things -- all the details -- that have caused you pain or discomfort. It might be helpful to write them in a list and then, when you're finished, take the paper outside and burn it as an act of catharsis.
  • Reach out for help from family members or friends in your life if you need someone to talk through your problems with. Talking about what's going on with someone else will help you feel less alone in your feelings and give you some perspective on the situation.
  • Seek out nature: It might be helpful to go outside and take in a deep breath of fresh air or find a park with green grass, trees, and flowers that make you feel better when you gaze upon them.
  • Learn your triggers. When you learn what triggers your emotions, you will identify situations, places, and people that can set you off. This level of self-awareness will help you to become less reactive.

If all else fails, listen to your favorite song as loud as possible.

How do you love yourself for who you are?

No one is perfect. It's important to remind yourself that you are a human being capable of making mistakes. 

Play with self-love as an idea: 

Spend some time sitting down and thinking about what it would mean for you if you love yourself completely for who you are today.

What would it mean for you if, instead of always striving to be good enough in your own eyes, you loved yourself completely? What are some of the benefits that might come with self-love? Spend a few minutes or more thinking about this question. You may find that self-love is cherished like an heirloom necklace passed down from your grandmother or a card from a best friend.

What are examples of loving yourself?

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparison is natural for people but can stop us from loving ourselves.

Stop comparing yourself to others and start celebrating your uniqueness.

Be kinder to yourself than you would be with another person- even if it's just a compliment like "I love how my eyebrows look today." Acknowledge the things you do well because self-love is about being your own best friend.

Are you able to do this? Yes, self-compassion can be hard at first. But when we work with small changes and take it one day at a time, the process gets easier and eventually becomes second nature.

For example, instead of thinking, "I am so ugly," try telling yourself something like, "My nose is big and beautiful, and I love my eyes!"

Learn to say "I am beautiful" even if you don't feel like it. It's a mantra that will help build your self-worth over time.

Build on what makes you unique, and try not to compare yourself with others so much. Reaching can stop us from loving ourselves in the way that we all deserve.

Learn something new

Sometimes all it takes to gain back a little self-esteem is to learn something new. This could be as simple as how to tie a scarf or to speak a new language.

Learning something new is always good for self-esteem, and it's the perfect way to feel better about yourself. Because you're doing something different than what you usually do. It also helps us remember that we are more than just our jobs, and many other talents and skills are waiting to be discovered!

If you don't have any hobbies or interests of your own, there are many online courses and programs that you can try for little to no risk.

Give back to other people.

Giving back to others is a great way to increase your own feeling of self-love.

Although it may be hard for some people, giving back can be very rewarding and fulfilling.

We often forget how much we have until we give something away or do something nice for other people.

Giving back will remind you that many other people need help and support, and it can take your mind off the things that are troubling you.

Often times you'll come away from helping other people with a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness for your own life.

How do you know you truly love yourself?

Feelings are tricky to navigate.

We often feel a lot of self-love when we accomplish something great.

But there are also times when we may not feel any self-love, even after doing something that should make us happy or proud.

It's important to remember that feelings come and go, so you don't need to beat yourself up about them.

However, here are some indicators that you are on your way towards authentic self-love:

  1. You are honest with yourself about what's important to you and what you want out of life.
  2. You have relationships in your life that are encouraging and honest
  3. You wake up feeling a sense of purpose (though not always motivated :))
  4. Others are attracted to your authenticity
  5. You feel at peace with yourself.

These are all things that come from a sense of self-love and acceptance, which is the true meaning of love for ourselves.

Can you love people if you don't love yourself?

The navigation of relationships when you are struggling with your own self-love can be difficult.

When we feel like we are not enough or something wrong with us, it can be hard to love another person.

When we operate in life out of a place of feeling inadequate, self-loathing, or self-criticism, we are not in a place where true love can happen.

It is essential to work on our own self-love first rather than expecting other people to provide it for us.

Sometimes this can be difficult, primarily if you have found your self-worth in a relationship with another.

One of the most challenging acts of self-love is setting boundaries and putting yourself before others.

This act can feel selfish at first, but a relationship will slowly grow unhealthy if you are neglecting yourself, your needs, and your emotions for the sake of a loved one.

In fact, boundaries may have push-back at first from the people in your life, but you will gain respect from others in the long run. This happens because they no longer have to guess around you, and they know where you stand on issues.

The word "no" is a powerful word to learn when you are learning how to self-love. Learning to use this word healthily can put most of us out of our comfort zone, but it's a crucial step!

When it comes to a relationship:

Without a sense of self-love, it can be hard to feel good about our relationships with others and maintain healthy connections in general.

What does unconditional self-love look like?

Unconditional self-love is the most powerful and liberating feeling.

With unconditional self-love comes:

  1. A sense of gratitude for who you are
  2. Loving yourself in the present moment
  3. The ability to look in the mirror and see someone worthy of love and respect
  4. A sense of wholeness as a person
  5. Freedom from other people's opinions

Unconditional self-love is a choice, not just something that happens to you. You can choose to love yourself at any time by changing your thoughts and actions to honor who you are.

It's about the work of loving oneself - it's an active process.

Does healthy self-love create a less reactive life?

Often time people feel out of control in life. But, unfortunately, it happens to all of us.

We can't control everything that happens to us in life, but we can control how we react.

Remember, free will happens between stimulus and response.

The stimulus can be many different things—a conversation, a world event, social media posts, etc.

It's anything that happens outside of your control.

Your response is the power to let it pass by you. To not have it stick in your mind and create turbulence or hurt in your heart.

You get to choose who and who does not hurt you!

You deserve happiness and self-love, and you have the power within yourself to not let the world beat you down.

Exercising this emotional muscle takes time, and you will stumble. So have grace on yourself and forgive yourself quickly.

Grace and forgiveness are essential acts of self-love as well!


Self-love is the ultimate act of self-care.

We hope that you will have a better understanding of how to love yourself well and feel less pain in your life by reading this blog post.

It can be difficult at times, but we are here for you every step of the way.

If you need support or want help with implementing any of these strategies, please reach out to us!

Let's make sure everyone starts feeling confident in life and loving themselves again!


Don't miss a beat!

New moves, motivation, and classes delivered to your inbox. 

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.